Tūrangawaewae - A journey of discovery one’s own culture

For as long as I could remember I had a sense something was missing, I just didn't know what it was.  I spent a long time searching, but never quite found what it is I was looking for.  Eventually that search led me to a program that had a strong cultural component, and as I started to pay more attention things began to feel familiar.  I remembered some of this stuff!  I started to recall some of the tikanga passed down from Mum.  I knew some of this stuff!  I felt a warmth inside me, so I started looking for ways to nurture that.

I was once told “it’s not how much or how little you know, it’s what you do with it that matters”.  And I have taken that quite literally.  I embrace the tikanga as much as I can, and set out everyday to learn more and explore my culture.

I returned home to the East Cape, and spent time at Hinerupe connecting with whanau I never knew.  I swam in my Awa and stood in my turangawaewae.  I visited the resting place of my tipuna and listened to the stories of generations gone by. 

One thing that felt important for me was to climb Mount Hikurangi, which is sacred to the Ngati Porou people.  My people.  And so together with mana wahine who have become so important to me, set off on a spiritual journey.  It was a challenging hikoi, but it was worth it.  When I woke in the morning and took in the sunrise, looked down at all before me and found peace. It was at this moment I knew intrinsically who I was, where I belong and who I can become.I found Rangatiratanga.  I found mana Motuhake.  I found me.  I had been there all along.

This has been the key to my wellness journey, and is something I will continue to honour.

Piki atu ki te taumata o toku maunga, ka kite au i te mana, i te ihi o te whenua nei no oku tupuna.

I climb to the summit of my mountain to see the lands of my ancestors.